To be loved once more
by Starwarsrebelsfan59
Summary: A 12 year old Peter Parker runs away from an abusive foster home and meets the avengers along the way. Not cannon compliant in the slightest with OOC characters. Darker themes, lots of angst, and fluff later in the story. Random idea I had and first fiction for this category. If you have any ideas or prompts for the story let me know! Rated M to be safe. Disclaimer: Do Not Own.
1. Chapter 1

A soft drip sound echoed in the alleyways as a young boy ran through the city in the dark. An eerie orange glow casted shadows along the pavement and served as a reminder to the child of his demons yet to be faced. Thunder sounded above and with each booming noise, his heart pounded against his rib cage, beating to the rhythm of the storm. A crackling streak of light lit up the sky only to be encompassed by the dark once more.

All Peter knew was that he had to run far and fast, his bare feet ached against the hard surface of the road, blood dripping down his head from an earlier beating. Pain was the key to escaping, but it was a selfish act. He continued to run, yearning for the dreadful events of a year ago that day to wash away like his blood in the rain. Yet blood on the heart and in the soul never did get washed clean, he was scarred by the evil actions of others and his lack of ability to protect the only family that was left.

A year ago May had died in his arms.

Shot in the chest by a drug addict who acted out of impulse shortly before he passed from his overdose mistake. Peter knew somewhere in his heart that the man was far beyond conscious recognition and unfazed by his cruel actions as he took his final breaths foaming at the mouth.

Peter had failed.

His last living relative gone in a storm similar to the one overhead, and a man who died not ten steps away from him as his hands became coated in blood from the already dead angel in his arms.

May didn't have to raise Peter but she had. She didn't have to be accepting of his weird abilities but she was. She didn't have to love him but even in her final breaths she did. A truth Peter felt undeserving to know of, and a truth that weighed heavily on his heart every second of time that passed.

A year ago May had died in his arms, and tonight Peter couldn't help but beg any and all powers at be to let him be loved once more.

His foster guardian claimed that she loved him as she rose the belt above her head and cracked it along his fragile cheek.

"I only do this because I love you and no child under my care will be less than perfect"

Peter was a good student, already in the 9th grade at only 12 years old, but he was bullied constantly and was called into the principal's office for skipping first period after receiving a beating in the bathroom. The principal seemed concerned at his bloody face and called his guardian on file, yet Miss Carter only recognized the call from the principal as a less than perfect outcome and one that deserved nightly lashings as a lasting punishment.

After a year of pursuing perfection only to be rewarded with pain, Peter ran from the house and disappeared into the streets as memories of his aunt's love and warmth mocked him for thinking that he even deserved to be loved in the first place.

Peter was a failure.

His small frame shook in the storm as tears and rain mixed together along his face. All he knew how to do was run far away from Queens and to keep running until his strange body finally decided to fall.


	2. Chapter 2

The avengers compound was located in upstate New York, a semi rural area with a surrounding forest, the building itself resting in a clearing with the finest superheroes chatting amongst themselves in the safe haven they called Home.

Steve and Tony were running along a forest trail when they came across the out of place figure, sprawled in the middle of the path with only shreds of clothing left on his barren body. A short gasp from Steve followed by a sharp "shit!" from Tony awoke the fragile child as he leapt to his feet only to fall backwards and cower in fear.

"Son, we won't hurt you, it's okay, just take some deep breaths and calm down, you're safe here" Steve asserted after seeing the panic in the boy's eyes.

"Yeah don't worry kid, spangles over here never lies, you're safe" Tony added in.

The boy seemed to recognize who was in front of him and with wide soft brown eyes, he snuck a glance at Steve as if to judge whether the man was being sincere. After careful eyes prodded over the two men before him, the boy slowly spoke.

"H-hi, I'm uh, I'm sorry for b-being on your pro-property , Mr. America s-sir"

"Not a problem at all son, and you can call me Steve"

"Kiddo, you've done nothing wrong, well technically your trespassing but I like rule breakers so don't sweat it, I'm Tony. Got a name?"

"Ye-Yes sir, I'm Pe-Peter"

"Nice to meet you Peter, do you want to come inside and rest for a bit, you look like you could use a little TLC." Steve asked while noticing just how shaky and malnourished the poor boy really was.

"Thank you Mr. Steve, but I sh-should probably be going"

"Alright kid, here's the deal, you look like crap and considering we have the nicest medical technology, not to mention hot showers, why don't you go ahead and appease us by letting us help you out for the day?" Tony said as he walked forward to give the kid a hand up off the ground.

The boy flinched slightly but nodded his head in agreement as Tony carefully helped him off the ground and allowed him to lean his weight as they made the slow trek back to the facility.

Steve had run ahead to alert the others and told Bruce to head down to medical and prepare for their guest. Although grime and dirt covered most of the boy, his injuries still stuck out to the trained eye.

Bruce immediately agreed to help him and began setting up a clean bed. Tony arrived not seconds later half carrying the small child who looked no older than eight.

"Hey Petey, this here is Bruce and he's gonna help you get cleaned up a bit and warm okay?" Tony asked as he gently lifted him onto the bed, still noticing how every touch received a flinch from the kid.

Peter nodded his head in affirmation as Bruce smiled and gave him a brief check up before instructing the child to take a shower in the adjacent bathroom. Once again the boy nodded and stood on shaky legs as he entered the lavish washroom.

Bruce, Tony, and Steve conversed outside of the closed door.

"Tones what do you think happened to him?" Steve asked.

"I've got no clue cap"

"Well his lungs sounded a bit ragged and it's obvious that he's malnourished but I'm assuming there's some severe injuries hiding underneath all that dirt, we'll be able to know more once he's cleaned up a bit, do you know how old he is, my best guess would be 8 or 9" Bruce commented.

"We'll ask once he's more comfortable" Steve responded.

As if on cue, Peter slowly walked out of the bathroom wearing a pair of Steve's old pjs that pooled around his feet and splayed off of his bruised and bleeding collarbone. Bruce gently held out his hand for the boy to grasp before leading him over to a scale and height chart.

"Hey peter,do you mind telling us how old you are?"

The child licked his lips nervously at Steve's question before softly saying "I'm 12 s-sir"

At 4 foot 5 and only 45 pounds, it was hard for the occupants of the room to hide their concern for the condition of the child.

"Peter, is it okay if I put in an IV, I promise it won't hurt and I noticed that you're very malnourished so I'd like for you to eat some solid food while we continue our check up okay?"

Peter looked at Bruce with fear but ultimately decided that the man hadn't hurt him yet so maybe as long as he did as he was told, he wouldn't get beat again.

Bruce once more gently helped the boy to bed and carefully went about inserting an IV while Tony came back with burgers and milk shakes that smelled glorious to Peter's heightened senses.

The boy stared at Tony before he casually replied "Go ahead munchkin, eat as much as you want" while popping his own French fry into his mouth.

Peter nodded and took small bites of the most delicious food he'd tasted since Thai with May.

As Bruce continued to run scans and bandage the horrible beating sites on the boy he paused when he came across vertical poorly stitched slits in the boys wrist. Suddenly turning very serious and even more concerned he turned to the boy.

"Petey can you be very honest with me, have you ever hurt yourself on purpose before?"

Peter quickly shook his head no only to be rewarded with a dizzy spell as Steve gripped his shoulders and helped him lean back once more.

"Those scars son, they look pretty straight, can you tell us where you got them from?" Steve gently prodded.

Peter looked as if he was about to burst into tears before slowly muttering "I'm weird so they said it was for science, I'm really sorry, you can get rid of me now that you know."

This time Tony spoke up " Kid, we're the avengers, weird is what we do, so what do you mean when you say that?"

Peter stuttered and blinked the tears out of his eyes as he slowly explained how he stuck to things and he used to be able to heal himself and how he had really strong senses.

The three men listened intently while Steve gently carded his fingers through the child's hair praying the he wouldn't flinch away.

At last Bruce spoke up, "Peter it's okay to be different and the people that did this to you were very wrong for treating you like that. I'm the hulk and Steve over there has weird abilities too but I promise you that nobody deserves to be treated the way you were and we are not going to let you get treated like that again okay?"

Peter nodded before a yawn escaped his mouth.

"Why don't you rest up son, it looks like you could use some sleep, I promise you that Bruce is right, nobody deserves to be beaten for being different and we aren't going to let that happen again to you."

"Sleep tight kiddo and if you need anything you can ask my AI Jarvis and he'll get one of us to come back down alright?"

Peter nodded again thinking over the words they had said and hoping that he didn't do anything to change their minds.


	3. Chapter 3

Peter woke up screaming from a nightmare about Aunt May. The way her blood coated his hands and how he couldn't save her. Panting wildly he barely noticed strong hands grip his shoulders so he fought back with all his might and pushed the offender across the room. As he slowly came to his senses he realized his mistake. Tony was slowly working his way off the floor from where he was thrown. Peter stared wide eyed.

"I'm so sorry, oh no no I-I d-didn't mean to, please sorry, please, please believe me" the boy choked out.

Tony knew that the poor child needed to get his breathing under control before he hurt himself further.

"Hey, hey kiddo, you're okay, you're safe, I'm not hurt or upset with you okay? I just want you to breathe with me bud." He gently slipped behind the boy on the mattress and pulled up to his chest as he rocked them back and forth while counting out breaths.

Peter gasped for air and flinched at the contact but settled quickly when he realized he wasn't being hit, maybe these people would just send him away instead of punishing him. Tony continued to rock them as the strangled gasps for air slowly calmed and the child was breathing properly again.

Bruce walked into the room shortly after, having been alerted of the child's sporadic heart rate.

"Hey there Petey, you up for eating something ?" Bruce asked as he presented peter with a tray full of chocolate chip pancakes, bacon, and fresh fruit, along with a nutritional shake for a drink.

Peter seemed to be taken aback by the kindness he was being shown, a fact that was making both adults cringe at the obvious poor treatment this child had endured. Tony, noticing the child's confusion, rubbed gentle circles along his back and gave peter an award winning smile. "You know kid, when you eat the pancakes while they're still hot, the chocolate is nice and gooey, plus nobody likes cold bacon."

Peter hesitated but slowly nodded his head as he went about eating the decadent breakfast.

Peter finished his plate and admired the feeling of fullness in his stomach. Most of the meals at Miss Carter's house were a singular piece of fruit or nothing at all if you were being bad. He felt content but was still wary of the adults in the room. Bruce had finished off his own breakfast and Tony was drinking what looked to be his 7th cup of coffee.

Steve entered the room pushing a wheelchair. "Hey there Pete! It looks like you had a delicious breakfast. Would you like to explore the building a bit with me son? See where you'll be sleeping tonight?"

"Oh um than-thank you sir, b-but I don't mean to intrude, I uh, I'll just um leave whenever you wa-want me too."

Tony quirked his eyebrows as he replied to the small shaking child. "Well Petey, Do you have a Home?"

"N-No Sir, P-Please don't make me go back to them, I can't, I can't…"

Steve began rubbing gentle circles on his back with one hand while he cupped Peter's cheek with the other.

"Son, that is not at all what we meant by that question, we would never allow for you to go back to where they did this to you, we were just wondering if you had a family somewhere, because if you don't, we'd like to be your family okay?"

"Oh, no my parents died when I was 5 and my aunt and uncle are both dead too. That's why I was in that Home, b-but Miss Carter didn't want me so why do you?"

Bruce answered without missing a beat, "Peter you are a very kind young boy and we'd like to help you learn more about those abilities you talked about, not in a mean way, but in a good way, showing you just how special of a little person you are. Do you want to stay?"

Peter stared in shock at the adults but slowly nodded his head in affirmation. He figured that he could at least stay until he was a bit healthier and if things got bad he could always run off again.


	4. Chapter 4

The three adults had informed Peter that he had to use a wheelchair for a while to help with his healing and to exert less energy since he was already small. Steve was kind enough to push Peter around while Tony narrated the "grand tour" of the avengers compound. Apparently Hawkeye and the Black widow were at shield and wouldn't be back till later that week.

Peter still felt fearful of the adults who were showing him such kindness. An internal debate raging in his heart over whether to trust them or to run before the facade faded into a distant memory and harsh reality took its place. The young boy wanted to believe all the kind words and actions of these strangers and his longtime childhood heroes were heartfelt but after so much loss and abuse, the child couldn't help but feel wary of anybody in his life.

He knew as their eyes lingered on him that they were disgusted by his scars but he didn't know how truthful their words were when they had said it wasn't his fault. He had always been taught that his actions impacted everybody. Great power comes with great responsibility. Yet Peter was only 12, an academic genius and a social and mental failure. He often acted young for his age as childhood trauma made communicating far more terrifying and all the child really wanted was the comforting touch that Aunt May had so openly given him.

The gentle healing hands of Bruce, the grounding grip of Steve, and the strong hug from Tony all reminded Peter of how his life used to be. May had all of those qualities and was always there to assure Peter that he was never too old for a comforting hug if social situations were overwhelming him or if his whacked senses played games on his mind.

Distantly Peter was still paying attention to the rooms they passed through, mostly curious as to how anybody could even make use of so much space. Having grown up in a small apartment and then spending a year in a closet as a bedroom, Peter felt drastically out of place and noticed as his heart picked up its speed.

Steve laid a hand on his shoulder and smiled "Most of this space becomes random hiding spots for Clint or we all sometimes use them as a quiet place to get away if Clint hasn't already boobytrapped it. Don't worry, you'll fit right in and you can tell any of us if you're confused okay?"

Peter was shocked at both the revelations that Hawkeye liked Pranks and that Steve seemed to understand Peter's social inadequacy yet wasn't being judgemental over it. Perhaps anybody would be confused in his situation and the adults hadn't yet figured out that Peter was challenged.

As he was wheeled back to kitchen by order of Bruce for some lunch, Peter couldn't help but feel his nerves race and pulse pound. He wanted so desperately for these people to like him, but he knew he wasn't perfect and the feeling of failure was always on his mind.

Lunch was delicious to say the least, he was served a mountain of grilled cheese slices that oozed with 4 different types of cheese topped with bacon, as well as a generous helping of tomato basil soup that paired perfectly with the sandwiches. He was never one to be the first to start eating so only after Tony stuck a whole slice in his mouth did Peter take a tentative bite. He was seated at the bar stools in the kitchen, having been given permission to leave his wheelchair in exchange for different seating, but was under strict instruction to never stand up for too long at a time.

They chatted amiably as Peter slowly took small bites of his meal. According to Bruce it would take a while for Peters stomach lining to stretch back out after being denied food for so long. The young boy pushed the remaining bites of food around on his plate as he tuned into the conversation happening around him.

"Shit" Tony exclaimed as he burnt his tongue on the soup.

" oh sure, soup hurts you but you're capable of crashing from space but being fine" Steve and Bruce both chided.

"Well Mr. Perfect, I'd like to see you burn your tongue"

Peter tensed at the word perfect causing him to choke on the bit of sandwich still in his mouth. He hacked loudly and felt his lungs rattle from the exertion in his still weakened state. He couldn't show weakness though, not after the conversation they'd just had.

He flinched violently as a hand struck his back and he stood quickly stumbling over the stool and falling backwards onto the floor. A haze enveloped his senses and he could vaguely hear his name being called but couldn't quite get the so desperately needed air into his lungs to make him conscious enough to respond.


	5. Chapter 5

At the sound of Peter's choking, Steve was quick to pound a fist on his back. The action only sent Peter into a further spiral of panic. The adults watched in stunned horror as the boy flew off of his stool seat and landed on the floor in shaking sobs.

Bruce had entered doctor mode and quickly ordered Dummy for his medical bag, while rushing to the now seizing child on the floor. The robot came back a minute later and Bruce had finished timing the seizure of the child after turning him on his side.

The seizure lasted for 1 minute and 15 seconds, before hazy eyes met concerned ones.

"Tony, why don't you go get Pete a change of clothes. Steve, carry him down to the medbay, I want to find out if the seizure is physiological or psychological." Bruce commanded.

"Petey, I know everything seems really strange right now but I need you to trust me and let Steve carry you okay?"

Peter blinked slowly while squirming in his soiled pants but nodded his head in affirmation of Bruce's request.

Steve gently wrapped a blanket around the child before picking him bridal style and carrying him down to the med bay. He would have used the wheel chair but Peter didn't look stable enough to stay sitting up on his own.

Once in the med bay Peter was far more aware of his surroundings but still felt out of it. A quick tug on his pants had him curling in on himself.

"Hey Pete, it's okay, we're just helping you get dry, you don't want to stay in these pants right buddy?" Tony questioned.

Peter nervously looked down at the soiled section around his groin and nodded jerkily before sending Bruce a questioning look.

"Don't worry about it Peter, I believe you had a seizure and when that happens, people often lose control of those muscles. It's why it was so hard to breathe and it's why your bladder leaked but you're okay now and we're just trying to figure out what caused it okay? Can you tell us what it felt like before it happened Pete?"

Peter slowly nodded and pulled the blanket higher up onto his chest, a shiver running down his back and a dusty blush of embarrassment on his cheeks.

"I- I don't really know, it's just the um the word 'perfect' kinda made me tense up I guess but then everything got really hazy when I started choking, and then I felt some kinda touch on my back and then I c-couldn't breathe and…"

"Hey kiddie calm down, take a deep breath, there you go" Tony interrupted as he noticed Peter's heart rate pick up on the monitor during the telling of the story.

"I'm so sorry Peter" Steve said solemnly.

"Alright, well I think I know what happened and I don't believe the seizure caused any lasting damage. I'm fairly certain that you had a Psychogenic non epileptic seizure or PNES. They are frequently caused by past trauma, anxiety, and depression. While uncommon, given what you've told us about your past, I'm not surprised that you were affected by one, especially in your weakened physical state." Bruce stated.

"I also think that if your up for it, talking about some more of your past might help us help you, but we're not going to make you do anything you don't want to." He added in.

Peter shrunk in on himself while eyeing Bruce warily, considering his next words very cafrefully.

" I uh, I think that m-might be o-okay, so I g-guess I should start with the whole 'per-perfect' thing." Peter stuttered nervously.


End file.
